C is for Coping

Is it just me, or are stories about cancer everywhere these days?? I  just read with dismay that Gail Kerr, a columnist with The Tennessean, has died at the age of 52.   Gail was a two time cancer survivor, and although the article didn't clearly state the cause of death, I inferred that cancer played some part.  I also just read that Jim Kelly, NFL Hall of Famer, is battling a recurrence of an aggressive form of oral cancer.  This insidious disease seems to be everywhere, touching everyone.  If you are reading this blog you know me, or know of me, but I would bet that you also know at least 2 or 3 other people who are currently battling a cancer demon.  We can't change the course of cancer for ourselves or our loved ones, but we can control how we react to that cancer.

The upside to these recent news stories is the focus on the community of friends, family, colleagues, neighbors - and even total strangers - who have rallied around those facing cancer.  I said from the beginning that I want this blog to be about gratitude, and let me tell you, I have never felt more loved and supported in my life!!  There are three specific things that friends are doing right now that are making a world of difference in my attitude and gratitude:

• They stay in touch:  The cancer road is often long and exhausting, so the occasional emails, calls and texts just to say hello and offer support mean more to me than you will ever know.  If you don't get a  response, don't assume anything other than I am busy or tired. Bother me again soon. :)
• They don't tell stories:  Telling me the story of how your aunt died of ovarian cancer in less than 3 months is not helpful.  We are all on a very individualized journey with the disease, and hearing stories of untimely deaths, and conversely, miraculous cures, can be very demoralizing.   I'm very lucky that my friends understand this.  
• They don't make it all about cancer: I have cancer, but I am not defined by that cancer.   And as much as I am fine to talk about my disease, I'm also planning a beach vacation, and at the moment, craving good sushi.  And vacations and sushi are best enjoyed with loved ones. 

In return, there are a few things that I am trying to do for my friends:  

• I don't want to make it all about cancer, either:  If we are talking and I fail to ask about you, your kids or your job, then shame on me.  Your stuff is just as important as my stuff!
• I want to keep you informed, but not bombard you with the details:  I have a Facebook friend who likes to post what she eats for breakfast, how long it takes her to commute to work, when she does her laundry....you get the picture.  Bless her heart, her posts just bore me to tears.  If you ever want to know what's going on with me just ask, but I'll try to keep the minutia to myself.

I hope it lifts your spirits to read this blog as much as it lifts mine to write it.  Thanks for checking in with me once again!