C is for Cute

When I was a young girl, feeling insecure and unattractive, I asked my Mom, "Am I pretty?"  And as the legend goes, her answer was "Honey, your personality shows in your face!"  To my Mom's credit, I'm fairly certain this is NOT what actually transpired, and I suspect she was trying to teach me a valuable lesson about inner beauty.  Still, the story lives on as recounted above, and we love to tell it over and over again at family gatherings, much to my mother's embarrassment.

It is only now, with the passage of time and the advantage of perspective, that I can see how this story shaped the way I viewed myself for far too long.  I've never been physically beautiful.  I can pass for cute, occasionally pretty in the right light, but I've never been confused for a super model.  But I've done myself a disservice by separating beauty into two distinct categories - inner and physical.  At the ripe age of 50, I am arguably the least physically attractive I have ever been.  My squinty eyes look smaller, my wrinkles are larger, and my once thick and healthy hair is stringy and sparse.  So I'm surprised when I look in the mirror these days and see a strong, stubborn, and yes, beautiful woman looking back.   I see a woman on a journey that is getting progressively harder, but I've finally figured out that I am well equipped for the ride. The beauty of family, friends, attitude and gratitude is inside of me and all around me.  I hope that my personality does indeed show in my face.  :)