C is for Cheesy

My brother is following my blog, like a good brother should, but he told me the other day that it is a little cheesy.  He's absolutely right, and that is kind of the point! In my very first blog post I wrote that I "refuse to huddle under the covers" as I battle this disease yet again.  That is only partly true.  The whole truth is that if I stay under those covers for too long, I fear I will never get back up.  Sure, I'm an avowed optimist, but I have moments when my cancer diagnosis slams into my consciousness so hard I can't see or think or catch my breath.  Many nights I have trouble sleeping because I can't turn off my whirring brain.  I'm trying to define what the new normal is for me, but my symptoms, and my emotions, are constantly shifting.

The physical and emotional roller coaster that is cancer is exhausting, but I'm trying to focus on the parts of the ride that bring me joy.  I do have some physical symptoms, but right now they are completely manageable and don't interfere with my ability to work full-time or spend time with loved ones.  I do have my moments of darkness and doubt, but I had those kind of moments before cancer, too.   I choose to be positive, to be grateful, and to be kind to myself and to others.   I choose faith over fear, love over hate.   And if that's a little cheesy, then I choose cheese.